10 Easy-To-Miss Stages of a Dying Marriage

Mitzi Bockmann
6 min readJul 6, 2023

Many of my clients come to me wondering if their marriage is dead.

It can be hard to tell, from the inside looking out, where one’s marriage stands.

Why? Because, as the years go on, some behaviors, good and bad, become normalized, and it’s hard to tell if they are affecting the marriage in a negative way.

What my clients know is that they are unhappy in their relationship, but they aren’t sure if that means it’s over.

I tell them that there are specific signs, specific stages of a dying marriage, that can be easy to miss.

Knowing what they are is a crucial way to know if your marriage is dead or if it might be resuscitated.

Here are 10 easy-to-miss stages of a dying marriage to help you decide the next steps in your.

#1 — Out of sight, out of mind.

Do you find that, when you are away from your spouse, you never think about them, much less miss them?

Do you find that you only think about them when you are apart when you need them? Or when you are angry with them?

For people who are in a happy marriage, part of that marriage is having that person on your mind, or at least coming to mind, while you are apart.

Thinking about them shows that they are important to you which is a good sign that your marriage might not be dead.

#2 — Not noticing the little things.

When you are first with someone, it’s the little things that are so special.

The cute way that they do things. The jeans that hug their butt just so. The silliness that they display when they talk to their mom. The way they rejoice in making you happy.

As marriages go on, it’s easy to stop noticing the little things. Time and familiarity make it so those little things seem to not be as important anymore.

And, as a result, spouses can start to feel invisible and unloved.

Ironically, not noticing the little things is an easy-to-miss stage of a dying marriage because, more often than not, not…



Mitzi Bockmann

I’m a certified NYC based Life and Love Coach who works with people to help them find, and keep, happiness and love.