5 Reasons Why Your Partner Is Jealous Of Your Ex

Mitzi Bockmann
6 min readJul 21, 2021

So, here you are, in a new relationship, happy as can be but there is an issue. A big issue. Your partner is jealous of your ex (or exes). Ugh.

Instead of appreciating that you love them completely, they think constantly about your ex. They compare themselves to them, they question you endlessly about your relationship, they live in constant fear that you are going to leave them.

Is this jealousy destroying your relationship? I bet it is.

There are a number of reasons why, in spite of being in a happy relationship, your partner might be jealous of your ex. Here are some of them.

#1 — You still bring them up.

Be honest. How much time do you spend talking about your ex?

Do you find yourself telling the story of when you went camping? Do you pick up something in the grocery store and remark about how it was their favorite? When a song comes up on Spotify and it reminds you of them, do you mention it? Do you ever suggest that your new person do something that might make them more like your old person, not even knowing that you are doing so?

I know you feel like these little mentions are innocent but they aren’t. No one wants to hear about their person’s ex and even little asides like these can be painful. If you do them frequently, the pain you are causing will only grow and jealousy will rear its ugly head.

So, take a good honest look at how much you talk about your ex. Might it be the reason why your partner is jealous of them?

#2 — Past hurts.

I am a 56 year old divorced woman. I date other 50ish divorced men. We are no longer 22 and starting out on the journey to find love. We are people whose hearts have been through the wringer and we are very lucky to have come out the other side. We have lots of baggage. Heavy baggage.

For many of us, our exes have cheated on us, emotionally or physically or both. As a result, we find it very hard to trust people of the opposite sex. We look for signs that our people are cheating and we think who could be easier to cheat with than their ex.

Mitzi Bockmann

I’m a certified NYC based Life and Love Coach who works with people to help them find, and keep, happiness and love.