5 Things Men Look For In Someone Who is Marriage Material

Mitzi Bockmann
8 min readNov 27, 2022

I know that, for many women, knowing what men look for in someone who is marriage material is confounding.

We hear stories all the time about men who are in long term relationships with someone they aren’t ready to marry. And then they break up and he marries the next woman who comes along.

What is up with that?

We all know exactly what women want — love, stability, romance, laughter, etc — but I had no idea what a guy really wants in a relationship — things that, if they are missing, are deal breakers.

To figure out the answer to this question, I reached out to some guy friends and clients to see if they could shed some light on the topic.

What was amazing was that the guys said mostly the same things (except for a few outliers who went a bit off the rails) and those things were a little surprising so I thought I would share them here with you today.

Here are 5 things men look for in someone who is marriage material.

# 1 — A sense of adventure.

I know — this first thing is kind of intimidating but, rest assured, ‘adventure’ means different things to different people.

One of my friends, John, craves adventure with a capital A. He wants to climb really tall mountains, and then mountain bike down them. He wants to sail his boat from Florida to the Bahamas. A lazy day for him is sleeping in until 7am and then only running 7 miles. He goes, goes, goes, goes.

And he wants a woman who can keep up. Fortunately — I have just the girl for him and I just set them up!

On the other hand, my client, David, also wants adventure but his is of a different kind. He loves to walk in the woods — no mountain biking necessary — but he doesn’t need to climb to the highest peaks. He loves to explore back roads in his old Mercedes convertible. He is happy having a beer on the deck, watching the water in the late afternoon.

So, while you see that adventure can mean different things to different people, without exception the men I talked to need adventure to be a part of a relationship that they will commit to. They want someone who wants to play with them…



Mitzi Bockmann

I’m a certified NYC based Life and Love Coach who works with people to help them find, and keep, happiness and love.